Susan Friedmann [00:00:00]:
Welcome to Book Marketing Mentors, the weekly podcast where you learn proven strategies, tools, ideas and tips from the masters. Every week I introduce you to a marketing master who will share their expertise to help you market and sell more books. Today, my special guest is Isabel von Boedischer. Isabel is a multicultural holistic health practitioner and leadership development and personal energy management catalyst. After two impactful losses of partners and burnout as VP in the corporate world, she reinvented herself as a first time entrepreneur at 45, living and working between two continents. As mother of an adult, child, caregiver to elderly parents and entrepreneur, she really knows how to empower ambitious women to overcome and heal exhaustion, fears and self doubt through transformative energy, work and coaching all the way from the Dominican Republic. Isabel, it's an absolute pleasure to welcome you to the show and thank you for being this week's guest, expert and mentor.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:01:14]:
Hi Susan, thank you so much for having me here today.
Susan Friedmann [00:01:17]:
It's wonderful. And you and I have connected through a a virtual networking group who as you know, we just meet the most incredible people. And when I met you and had that first conversation, I was like, yes, we've got to get Isabel on the show because she's got so much wisdom that I know that our authors can benefit from. And it's wisdom in terms of how we perform and how we can change our energy and changing our energy, changing our life. And you and I were having this conversation before we got on the air. And you know that many authors struggle with fear of visibility, self doubt imposter syndrome. These are some inner blockages. Now I know you've seen that, but based on your expertise, how can authors begin to release some of these so that they can go out into the world and market their book with confidence? Because I think that confidence is something that they often lack.
Susan Friedmann [00:02:31]:
Let's start the conversation there.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:02:34]:
Yeah, so this is first of all a super important aspect and question at the same time. I feel like most of the times when we have written our book or want to publish it and face these inner blockages, we don't really realize it. So the first thing is being aware of what's happening. I like to say it right away to also understand you are not weird or sick or this is not okay. It's just like something very natural because we are putting something out there which is very close to our heart. It's normal to coming to be faced with our inner demons or fears that we maybe used to have and that had nothing to do with the work that we are doing. Now, but it's triggered when we talk about inner blockages. It might be that we just are afraid to face the public all of a sudden to putting ours out there in such a different way than what we are used to.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:03:32]:
It's inner blockages because they are maybe not based off an experience that we have done specifically. Now, if I'm talking to you authors here, listening and who have not yet published a book, and then it's the first time you're putting your book this. So you have not experienced. You have not done any bad experience with that. So these inner blockages are actually triggered by something and they trigger a fear, an anxiety of something that happened maybe in your past or a conditioning that we had growing up. And all of a sudden it comes up like, I'm not good enough or who am I to write this book? And the first thing is to being aware of what's going on inside of you.
Susan Friedmann [00:04:14]:
It's interesting that you should say that because as you said it, I was like, oh, yes. Growing up like you, I came from a Germanic background. There was this expectation to do things right. And even like being perfect, I was being judged if it wasn't completely perfect. There was that fear, especially in the beginning when I started marketing, that this isn't. Or is it. That went through my mind. Is it really perfect? Is it good enough? Am I good enough to be out there teaching people how to market their books or even to sell my own book? What are your thoughts on that?
Isabel von Boetticher [00:04:57]:
Yeah, well, I think this is exactly that. It brings us to the very core of us. As I said, these fears that you might face might not have directly have something to do with what we are facing right now. So publishing my book. I'm not going to die of publishing my book, but the fear that I feel inside is one of that kind. So the question now is like, okay, where does this come from and how can I get over it? And first of all, as I said, being aware of that it is totally okay and normal to have fears and anxiety is the first part. And then the second part is to understand I can heal that. And I can understand where it comes from.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:05:40]:
And it might be based from experiences in my early childhood or through conditioning that I might have received. You just mentioned it, like education about, like expectations towards us in our childhood. Like, you have to be perfect, you have to be the best. And. But it can also just have been maybe transmitted through generations of parents and grandparents, ancestors to us. And we can, with energy, work, access these realms where it comes from. And what is even more important, maybe we don't need to understand where it comes from, but we can heal it. It's about getting our confidence back and overcoming that fear.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:06:20]:
And if I say overcoming it is really important to understand, it's not about ignoring it or being distracted and not facing it. It's really like understanding how to overcome, for example, a fear of being seen and shining and being out there. And so there are different ways of doing that that I teach and that people can easily learn. That's a beautiful thing. So you do not have to stay in that situation of being stuck or not. Overcoming procrastination.
Susan Friedmann [00:06:51]:
EFFY I remember having that imposter syndrome early on and doubting and again, going through, you know, why me? Am I good enough to put this out there? And I didn't realize. I thought there was something wrong with me. And it was only when I found a book on the imposter syndrome. I was like, oh, my goodness. Other people have this. It's not just me with Susan disease or Susan Aylmer. It's very real. However, at the time, this was maybe 30 years ago, people didn't acknowledge it in the same way as they are now.
Susan Friedmann [00:07:35]:
And what I like about the environment now is that energy, work and talking about the imposter syndrome and confidence levels and fears and doubts, it's much more okay to do that. Are you finding that, I mean, doing the work you're doing, is there much more, let's say, acceptance of what you're doing?
Isabel von Boetticher [00:07:58]:
Very much and very important. Because it's exactly what I have experienced, not just through my life, but if I observe in general how people seeking help a couple of decades ago would be like, okay, you go to a psychologist and that means you are sick, either something wrong with you. And nowadays I think it's just so much more accepted that seeking help does not mean that you are sick. It means just like you are seeking help from somebody who has already done that journey that you are on or who has some expert advice. And that's when coaching came up. So, like, you can just have somebody who knows more about these things and understands where you are at and knows how to guide you through different practices to where you want to get in the sense of allowing yourself to be helped without thinking that is something wrong with you. And that's super important.
Susan Friedmann [00:08:53]:
ISABEL Marketing a book takes a lot of stamina. So let's talk about some practices that you recommend that could help authors tap into this energy potential that we've been talking about, rather than Waiting until they run out of steam and like now what? You know, and they collapse and can't do anything.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:09:18]:
Exactly. Because I think you always have to attack this thing of writing and publishing a book with a long term vision. Right. Even myself have experienced writing. My book was a three months thing. But then it's not done yet. It's not out there. You have to, as you said, like have the stamina and work on your well being.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:09:39]:
There are mental aspects of your well being and physical aspects of your well being that you definitely should take into consideration and just knowing it. So like, do you take care of your body, of your physical body? If you are completely absorbed by writing and publishing your book, maybe you forget to have your healthy rituals around, like maybe going for a walk or doing sports. And this is something really important not to forget. But obviously also like the nutritional part, like do you drink a lot of water and do you eat healthy? And then more important still on the side of the physical part is your rest and your sleep. Do you rest enough? Because we tend to like there's so much we need to do that we don't allow ourselves to rest anymore. And rest is not the same as sleep. Also very important to understand that sometimes even you might sleep your seven or to eight hours every night, but during the day you need to rest every now and then. You cannot just like be in this world of needing to publish the book, seeing the people that you need to see and just allowing yourself to have a rest from that task.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:10:50]:
And even if it is a passion project of yours to allow yourself to take rests every now and then in the day. And then now it takes me to the mental part because resting is not just a physical rest. Right. It's like your mind needs to be able to rest your emotional state around your book and just like being able to disconnect every now and then and just take care of your feelings and emotions, like being aware of your feelings and emotions, then that's an important part to be able to navigate through this whole long term process in a way that does not burn you out before your book is out there.
Susan Friedmann [00:11:29]:
Yeah, that's so important. And it's interesting because I've got a few authors who would say that they take these 20 minute naps during the day and how refreshing that is just to do that. And often I don't allow myself to do that. I'm at the computer and somehow taking myself away from the computer because I'm so engrossed in a project. How do you do that? Where you can feel that it's okay to give yourself permission to, as I say, take a 20 minute nap or walk around the block for 20 minutes, do something different.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:12:11]:
Yeah. I think specifically if you have like these big tasks that glue you to a computer where you need to work kind of a whole day on the computer, it is very helpful to take like these breaks also on a strategic level in the sense of like you put the day into two hour packages, you don't work for more than two hours on your computer and then you take that 10 minute break and either maybe now you just go for a walk or you can have your power nap, but just really like put these working hours not just in like, okay, I'm going to work now and I'm in this flow and. And then I stick to it as long as I can because this is not healthy. So it's really good to have two hour work shifts and then have half an hour or ten minute breaks and then go back into two hours work shifts. And also thinking of, besides the rest, the breaks that you need that you still have a life. Right. So it is important to take care of your social needs. Even if there's a lot to do on your computer and writing and publishing and doing the marketing, make sure that you see the people that are important to you, that you still stay connected and are not just absorbed in this world of book publishing and marketing.
Susan Friedmann [00:13:32]:
It can become obsessive. It really can, when you're involved in it. I can really relate to that. I know that you're very generous and you're going to give our listeners a energy leak assessment. I'd love you to talk about energy leaks. What exactly are energy leaks?
Isabel von Boetticher [00:13:53]:
Yeah, so we've been talking a little bit about like being aware of your own energy and emotions and feelings. So what does that actually mean? Energy is obviously something that we feel fit and then we are ready to go and we have all the power. But I like to go even deeper. And if we have an energy leak, I like to offer the opportunity to separate them in four different areas actually. So we can have a physical energy leak which is obviously like our body is tired and leaks energy. But we also have an emotional energy body and a mental energy body and a spiritual energy body. What are these and how do these leaks manifest in them? Physical, I just explained it's very easy. You just feel physically exhausted.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:14:41]:
But on the emotional side, what is an emotional energy? That is something that you can feel easily if you are around a situation or around people. And afterwards you just Feel drained mentally, or you just feel in your body, you are like, they put all their emotions or feelings on you, or you absorb them naturally because you are an empath. And that's important to understand that you might be physically fit, but emotionally exhausted at this moment. And then the mental energy leaks is obviously when you are mentally completely tired. And that is also provoked. For example, we just talked about it earlier, when you work so much with your mental capacity and never ever take breaks, that at one point your mind just needs a break. So that's where you leak your energy there. And then the last one is a very important one too.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:15:34]:
We all, I think, underestimate the power of the spiritual energy body and the strength spiritually. It's actually the purpose that we have in life or in what we do and a higher connection to what we do. So if we have lost the purpose or our connection to our purpose, why we write this book, why did we do this in the first place? That it can be very draining. And having lost the orientation there can be very draining. So this Energy League assessment that I offer your audience allows you to, with a very simple exercise of like going through nine questions to understand where you lose your energy most and what you can do to prevent it and to heal it.
Susan Friedmann [00:16:26]:
That also makes me think about was I had an assistant. And every time I was with this assistant, I felt exhausted after being together for, I don't know, maybe half an hour, we were working on a project and I was like, I feel like I'm ready to go to bed. And it took me a long time to realize that I was picking up energy from her and it was tiring. Have you experienced that? Is that something that you've seen in any of your clients?
Isabel von Boetticher [00:17:02]:
Yes. And also that's important to understand because lately the word toxic relationships has become a fashion. And I like to use these terms not in the sense of wanting to accuse somebody. So in your example of your assistant, that person might not necessarily be a bad person. It's just that in the situation that you were in, you are losing more energies than that you get. And it's just important to realize that. So actually I face this a lot when I work with my clients that people are just not aware of in which situations or why and when do they more lose than gain energies. Because we are all constantly in a energy exchange with the people we encounter.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:17:48]:
You have said it just with your assistant, but also with places and situations in general. You can go to a, how should I say, big conference or a big networking meeting. And even without having yet talked to anybody, there you are already an exchange of energy just with the fact of you putting you into that scene. And if you are not aware of that, you might lose your energies. And if you are aware of, okay, I'm going to face now this crowd of people. There are ways that you can be aware of your own energy and protect your energy body and clean your energy body. And just make sure, okay, this is the energy space that I want to keep for me today or in this meeting without being overwhelmed by it, or without having your energies being absorbed and drained by other people.
Susan Friedmann [00:18:45]:
Yes, many of our authors are speakers as well. And having been a speaker for many years, and then you're in and you're with hundreds of people, and again, everybody's got their different energy. And so all this energy is floating around. How can we protect ourselves from. From these energies that may not serve us in the best way?
Isabel von Boetticher [00:19:12]:
I think, again, in general, it's just. It starts again with the awareness of your energy body and understanding what different layers your energy body consists of. And so that's, as I said, like the physical, the emotional, the mental and spiritual layers. And then, yes, there are lots of practices that you can do to keep your energy safe. And maybe as a little advice, if I may say so, it is good in general to have a morning ritual. My morning ritual, for example, entails aspects that address all these four layers of my energy body. So I do something for my physical body by doing some yoga stretches in the morning. I do something for my emotional energy body.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:19:54]:
I do also something for my spiritual energy body. And that could be something like doing a little meditation or sitting consciously 5 to 10 minutes in silence and then just observing your thoughts. And then also I always set an intention for. And that's the emotional, actually energy body. I always set an intention about how I want to feel today. And you can set that even before you have a speaker engagement or before you go to a big conference. Just like influence the way you want to feel by addressing it yourself instead of being just reactive to situations or people that you encounter. These morning rituals, I really do them every day.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:20:39]:
And if I can't one day, that's okay. It's not a problem. But I know that it's super important to also adapt my morning rituals to my need of the day of now. And that can be changing. Right? One morning you get up and you just like, know or feel because you listen into yourself, really just like taking this one moment to listen into yourself and understanding what does my Body need now and then giving that morning ritual to yourself that you need now. Because maybe one day it is yoga, the next day it is running around the blocks, the next day it is doing meditation and walking your dog. It's just like it should in my case, it should always address your physical body, your mental body, your emotional body and your spiritual body so that you have all of this kind of nourished. Like you take a shower every morning to clean yourself.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:21:33]:
You should also take care of your energy body.
Susan Friedmann [00:21:36]:
That's beautiful. Yes. I think one of the rituals that I like is also journaling, just using that time. Even though writing is so much a part of what I do. But even just writing by hand, but not about anything work wise, it can be about anything. Just looking out into the garden and writing about what I'm seeing out there and how that's making me feel. I feel that for me, just that little taking, I know 10, 15 minutes of just doing that is very therapeutic.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:22:13]:
Exactly. And breath work. Exactly. Same in general, when I say connecting with self, with yourself, it can be as easy as really just placing your hand onto your heart space and taking a deep breath into your belly, maybe even closing your eyes for a moment and just taking three breaths like that and allowing whatever comes up to come up. That's is such a beautiful way to connect with what's really going on inside of you. And then yes, afterwards you can write it down or you can, if you now feel like running around, do your exercises. But this really first connection with self, it's so beautiful and feels very deep needs that we have and that we sometimes don't allow ourselves to have.
Susan Friedmann [00:23:00]:
No, I hear you. I think that's really beautiful and that's a great way for us to segue into you telling our listeners how they can find out more about you and the incredible skills and services and coaching that you do. So take it away.
Isabel von Boetticher [00:23:19]:
You can find me on my webpage, which is www.caye.net written with C-A Y-A E.net with my full name. You find me obviously also in LinkedIn or Instagram under Isa Kaye, which is is a C A Y A E. I have a couple of really interesting offerings to find out for you if you need to work on your energies and how you can stand in your full power to really reach your goals and without being burned out or exhausted and live enjoy sustainably. That's what I love helping people to do.
Susan Friedmann [00:24:02]:
That's beautiful. And I know that there are links and I'll put those in the show notes and all of those, your LinkedIn contacts as well, your website. Because I know sometimes people are listening to this as they're walking the dog or they're doing their exercises. They haven't got necessarily something to write it down. So we'll put all of that in the show notes. Isabel, if you were to leave our listeners with a golden nugget, just those sort of last words of wisdom, what might that be?
Isabel von Boetticher [00:24:35]:
I was just having a visit from my son who turned 25, and I give him something that I like to give to your audience as well. I gave it to him engraved in a ring, and that is three sentences or words. It's like to always be passionate about what you do and then stay focused to get at what you want, but then also thirdly, to stay open for the new and for the unknown. I think these three things are something that I always love to not just because he was my son, is my son that I gave it to him. But I talk about this with my clients as well. It's like no matter how passionate we are in life and focused, what we do, just staying open for the new. So like this, we stay open for surprises, for what else the universe has for us, and for real growth and thriving.
Susan Friedmann [00:25:33]:
Oh, that's so beautiful. And it's wonderful that you say you know the word passionate too, because I talk about that a lot when it comes to just selling your book, marketing yourself, that there's the passion there that if you're not passionate about what you're doing and how you feel about yourself and how you you feel about your work, then why should anybody else feel that way? That's beautiful. Thank you, Isabelle. This has been wonderful and I really appreciate you sharing your wisdom and listeners. If your book isn't selling the way you wanted or expected to, let's you and I jump on a quick call together to brainstorm ways to ramp up those sales. Because you've invested a whole lot of time, money and energy and it's time you got the return you were hoping for. So go to bookmarketingbrainstorm.com to schedule your free call. And in the meantime, I hope this powerful interview sparked some ideas you can use to sell more books.
Susan Friedmann [00:26:39]:
Until next week, here's wishing you much book and author marketing success.
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